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Friday, 8 March 2013

My head is going to explode...

Hey guys, I have the world's WORST headache. Like thumping, pounding about-to-explode type headache. It's defo stress related, I just submitted the essay I had due online TWO MINUTES before the deadline! Always the way with me... Actually that's not true, I used to be really good at getting my work done early and to a high standard but then I suddenly lost all motivation to do uni work. I think part of that was because I realised that I want to work in fashion rather than something academic so it sometimes feels like "What is the point of me getting a degree???. I'd rather put the time and effort into forging a career in something creative...

A photo from my boyfriend's graduation last year. I hope I get to go to mine

But then I realise that the fact of the matter is that I've started my degree now and lots of time and money has gone into it and since I only have a couple of months left I might as well see it through to the best of my ability. And if I'm really lucky I might get a 2:1 and have something to shove in people's faces when they scoff at my career choice. And if I get less than that, well... I tried. People wanted me to try and I did and now I can move on... I just have to remember that I won't get a chance to re-do this and it will be a good fallback option so I need to just man up and get down to it. When I actually do the work it usually isn't that bad, and motivation hasn't been my problem recently so much as simply kidding myself that I can write a decent 2,000 words essay in two days. It seems easy enough in my head but when I get down to it it never is and I end up scrambling and handing in something that's less than my best work. So I come on here, my blog/public diary to declare that I, Jade Mercedes Fraser, will never hand in a piece of half-arsed work ever again. I like declaring things on here because once I've told someone my plan I feel even more motivated to stick to if for fear of looking like a bulls*****r. I have two more essays to write by the end of April as well as my huge dissertation and I am determined that each one is going to be the best work I ever did to maximise my chances of getting a degree I can be proud of. As always I'll keep you posted with my progress. Wish me luck!!!

x Jade Mercedes Fraser x

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